Have you noticed the recent trend to choose a Word of the Year? This is one trend I can actually get behind because it’s something to bring focus and cohesion to the year ahead. It’s also fun to look back to see the ways a certain word manifested itself as the year played out. Bonus points if your Word of the Year is catchy enough to be put on a key chain or t-shirt!
In 2018, I chose PATIENCE. We had decided to finally answer God’s calling to become foster parents, and we knew the road ahead of us would be long and challenging. We were excited to welcome children into our home, but we knew it would take months to complete the classes, home studies, and paperwork that were required for us to be approved. Patience was also a word I needed to apply to my parenting: our three year old had become an epic tantrum thrower with a very short fuse, and there were days when I was sure one or both of us wouldn’t survive until bedtime. My job as a teacher also required copious amounts of patience. I had a challenging class that year, and I knew that in order to connect with each of the sweet souls who had been entrusted to me, I would need to consciously choose to be patient each and every day…sometimes several times a day.
2019 was the year of GRACE. This time I decided to anchor my word of the year to scripture so that inspiration would come from God’s words and ideas, not just mine. From the many Bible verses about grace, I chose Hebrews 4:16: Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need. This reminded me that because of God’s immense love and grace for me, I can be bold when sharing my heart with Him. It also reminded me that, just as God showed us grace, I should show grace to others and also not be so hard on myself. When I chose this word in January, I had no idea how deeply I would connect with the concept of grace in the coming months.
In February we took our first placement in foster care: three-week-old twin boys who had been born about five and a half weeks premature. While I had already embraced the concept of receiving grace through God’s forgiveness, mercy, and love, over the course of our ten months parenting these sweet boys, I learned how important it is to give grace as well.
Grace is getting what we don’t deserve. Grace is rooted in love.
Grace is not earned, but freely given without strings attached.
Grace is a choice.
I could choose to judge their mother for her choices that led us to this place, or I could choose to extend grace to a mother who loves her children but doesn’t know how to be loved herself. By choosing grace, we were able to build a relationship based on a shared love for our babies, with no walls between us. Without hesitation, I celebrated her successes and also held her hand and cried with her when things got really tough.
I could choose to be angry when our case worker didn’t come through in the way we needed her to, or I could choose to extend grace knowing she had been assigned more cases than she could humanly handle and was bound by regulations beyond her control. By choosing grace, I was not consumed by anger when things didn’t go our way, and I am able to say “God is in control” with confidence…even when it hurts.
I could choose to criticize and belittle myself for not being a superstar mom every moment of every day, or I could choose to give myself grace and accept that I cannot do everything on my own, nor am I meant to! By choosing to give myself grace, I asked for help when I needed it, I let go of control in areas that really didn’t matter, and I found time to enjoy the beautiful life that was happening around me. Did I work out every day like I wanted? No. Did I put healthy, homemade meals on the table every night? Ha! Was my home sparkling clean and decorated for every season? Nope. Did I surpass all my goals and plans at work? Not even close. My jeans may fit a little tighter, but my children were fed and all the kids in my school and in my home knew they were LOVED!
For 2020, my word of the year is FEARLESS and my aim is to fearlessly follow Jesus. God has moved our hearts to step away from foster care for now to focus on growing our family through adoption. This was a hard shift for me to make. IS this really God’s prompting, or am I feeling this tug just because I was hurting so badly over losing the twins? What about all the kids in foster care who needed homes? How would we pay for all of this? After lots of prayer, we decided to officially make the leap into private adoption. We entered another round of applications, home studies, background checks, and oh-so-much-paperwork. Then the Coronapocalypse happened and we reached a whole new level of fear and uncertainty. Once again, my word of the year has taken on a meaning I had no way to anticipate!
Now we are in a yet another season of waiting. We see cases with potential birth moms, we get excited about what could happen, we wait (and wait and wait) for an answer. So far, every answer has been no. Not yet. Wait. Your time will come. So we wait for the next case, and the cycle starts all over again.
I’m not very good at waiting.
I get impatient, I want to rush things to happen on my timeline. I second-guess myself, wondering what I could have done differently in our profile book to make our family more appealing to expectant moms considering adoption. Did I come on too strong? Did I choose the wrong pictures? Should the font have been different? I start wondering if God really called us to this, or if I somehow misunderstood. If I’m being completely honest, sometimes I’m fearful that God has chosen me to parent a child for which I’m not sure I’m qualified.
Then I come back to my Word of the Year: FEARLESS. The anchor verse I chose for this word is Isaiah 41:10: Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand. And I remember that our family has been called for this purpose. That God has gone before us to prepare the way. Whatever He calls us to do, He will hold us tight and help us through it. And I know it will be more than okay: it will be incredible.
Are you thinking about choosing your own Word of the Year?
Here are some things to consider...
- It doesn’t have to be for a whole year. It could be for a season or special event, like planning a wedding, going back to school, or enjoying the holidays.
- Choose a word that has multiple meanings or can be applied in many ways or contexts.
- Think about the big things you want to accomplish during that season, and find a word or phrase that will keep you focused on those goals.
- Look at favorite scriptures, songs, books, or movies for inspiration.
- Think outside the box. My words, while meaningful to me, aren’t super creative, but I’ve seen some great ideas! For example, the co-host of one of my favorite podcasts, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, recently chose LIGHTER for her word of the year. She wanted to lose weight, and she also wanted to lighten and brighten her attitudes and perspectives in her life.
- Keep it somewhere prominent so you’ll think of it often. Look for key chains or jewelry with your word, or use it as a password or background on your phone or desktop.
