Let’s address the elephant that walks into the room whenever we tell people we’re adopting:
Adoption is expensive.
Back when we were in the middle of dealing with infertility, I started researching adoption expenses and processes. While we knew we wanted to adopt at some point, we’d already agreed to keep going with fertility treatments. I can’t explain why, except to say it just didn’t feel like the right time to adopt. But that’s a story for a different day.
So a few years into fertility treatments and still no baby, I was getting desperate. I (secretly) Googled “adoption in Texas” and spent an evening following those rabbit trails. My big question was, How much does is cost to adopt a baby? While I couldn’t find any websites that were forthcoming with a bottom line, based on bits and pieces of information I came up with a rough estimate that it would cost us $30,000 to adopt a baby.
I’ll never forget timidly walking up to our bedroom where Jason was watching TV and telling him that I’d discovered how much is costs to adopt a baby. He listened until I got to the price tag…that brought the conversation to a screeching halt. We continued this “conversation” by saying some very mature things about the other’s priorities and ended this “conversation” with me in tears believing he didn’t really want to have children and him thinking I’d lost my mind.
At the time, we were not ready to adopt because all either of us could see was the bottom line.
Fast forward nearly ten years, and now we can see the bigger picture. We know, from our experiences with fertility treatments – which also aren’t cheap! – that if God calls you do something He will provide the means, often in unexpected ways. We also have a better understanding of the purpose of adoption expenses, which makes that big price tag not quite as intimidating.
Why is adoption so expensive? Of course there are fees to pay to the adoption agency for all the legal stuff. But did you know that a big portion of the adoption expenses go straight to helping birth moms?
4 Ways Adoption Expenses Change Lives
Housing
Some women choose adoption because they don’t have stable housing. The adoption agency sets her up with a safe and clean place to live during the final weeks of her pregnancy, as well as her postpartum recovery. This includes food and utilities, and also any children she may already be parenting.
Medical care
Some women choosing adoption do not have access to basic medical care. The the adoption agency connects her with quality prenatal care, and her medical bills for delivery are also covered if she does not have insurance. Medical expenses for the baby are also the responsibility of the adoptive parents, though these are most often covered by their insurance.
Counseling and Education
All moms/families who place a baby for adoption need counseling post-placement in order to move forward. Some birth moms may also benefit from counseling for addictions or personal trauma. Working with the counselors at an adoption agency can help a woman or family work through some tough stuff to get her headed in a better direction.
Postpartum care
Many women who choose adoption do so because they lack a support system. The physical and emotional recovery after baby is born is challenging for every new mom; those moms who choose adoption need an extra level of TLC which they may not get at home.
Keep in mind that every situation is different, so the final cost of every adoption will vary depending on state and local laws, agency fees, and the birth mom/family’s circumstances. But once we realized our dollars would actually benefit a courageous woman who had chosen us to parent her baby, it was much easier to imagine writing that check.
Yes, adoption is expensive.
But I can’t think of a better way to invest in God’s kingdom.
